For the dream...

I'm mazed

2006-08-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

I am ashamed to say anything when I face my blog, which was updated 3 months ago. I'm thinking that if it was a real baby, it might grow up big enough during these 3 months.

Something big event really happend to me during these 3 months, and I really had some special feeling to express. However, I made my blog vacant again and again!

I always realize that life is facing many choices. But, it is really a hard time to make every choice, especially at such a crucial time during my life!

To tell you the truth, I'm beginning to doubt about my studing abroad, as well as my dream. I'm pigheaded. I always stick to something that has been recognized in my heaart. I used to be proud of my permanent dream. Comparing to those who just drift with the tide, I believe my goaled life is much more meaningful. However, such a faith is just being destroyed little by little. It's because of the truth of the life or just because of my laziness?

Is it a regular question to people at my age? Then, what will be the result? Obstinately stick to my way, bearing loneliness and misunderstanding? Or, return to an ordinary woman's life: being his wife, being his mother, being his grandmother...

Searay's back &

2006-04-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

I’m so sorry to my “dream”! :-( I’ve let it slide for almost 4 months.

Busy! Busy! Busy! @!@

Since that “Tomorrow”, my life seemed to be full of study. Fortunately, it’s really interesting and I did learn quite a lot from these 3 months. Unfortunately, it seemed I was too devoted that I gave up all other entertainments of mine. Though I gained a lot from my study, I noticed I lost something important in my life. So I decided I won’t to put my whole heart on my study. It’s also important to write diary to memorize my every different feeling, to practise Gu Zheng to realize one of my dreams, to do some exercises to keep me healthy… Anyway, enjoy my life!

I have too much to say here, but it seems I couldn’t express all once time. And I found my written English degenerated too much without writing in blog. I need to work hard on my blog from now on!

I came back again! HaHa~~~~ Add some my “fruits” to memorize these 3 blank months. *)*

Tomorrow

2006-01-31T23:34:00.000-08:00

Excited, nervous, afraid… it’s hard to describe my feeling now.

Tomorrow will be the first day of my new college. I have waited for it for three months. I choose this school by chance, but the program is what I’m really interested in. It should be lucky. However, I can’t help worrying about something.

I came to Vancouver for studying MBA program as well as beginning a new living abroad. It went favorably until I found this program was totally unsuitable for me. I determinedly dropped it though I lost around $7000 from this case. That because I’m the person who’s uncompromisingly sticking to her dream. Although it’ll be only a diploma degree, the new course is what I really want to learn. I never regret having this choice, and my parents support me as well.

But… I’m really worrying about that the course maybe not as good as my expectation; I’m afraid I would be the worst English-speaking student; I fear if it worth having a diploma degree instead of a master degree; I doubt if I will succeed in it… Many Chinese international students choose to study management or computer here for a better job in the future. I also wish an easy-gotten job in the future. But I can’t ignore the dream in my heart.

Realism or dream, which is more important to us? Which should be considered first in our true life?

Whistler Eventually!

2006-01-23T13:23:00.000-08:00

I was looking forward to Whistler for a long time, and eventually I went to the top of Whistler on Jan 21st, 2006. It would be a rememberable day of my life!

I never saw such grand snow scenery before as I used to live in the south part of China. Before the bus arrived to the destination, I had already couldn’t help taking those beautiful snow pictures. I even couldn’t differentiate whether the snow or the cloud surrounding the top of the mountain.

Out of my expectation, it was not frozenly cold there. Maybe it was because of the crowded visitors :) I took a gondola with my other 7 friends. It was so excited that the small gondola was full of our happiness. And it was really astounding to look down to the mountain from a gondola. How fantastic! Look at those skiers, they were so cool that galloping from the high snow mountain. I wish I could be one of them so much@#@

The snow here was totally different from my imagination. It’s thick but dry. So don’t worry about not having boots. You can run freely in this snow world only with sports shoes. Watch! Snowball is coming!

Have you ever tried having an ice cream cone in such a snow world? HaHa~~~~~it’s very very good! An “old” guy could become an innocent child with an ice cream cone in this pure world!

Whistler, I love it!

More information, click here:
http://www.whistlerblackcomb.com/index.htm

Even More Unbelievable

2006-01-12T20:39:00.000-08:00

So incredible! I can hardly believe it! @#@ Maybe it could be called postscript of that rememberable “story”.

It was so coincidental that the cheat was seen by a friend of Miroslava at Burrard SkyTrain station. She was a so responsible friend that she tracked down the cheat to a hostel near Granville station. It was a very important piece of clue. I thought she must be found out and received corresponding punishment this time. But… it seemed I was wrong!

The front desk rejected to tell me whether the cheat lived here or not as he told me it was illegal. He may be accused for disclosing personal privacy. After I told him my “story”, he insistently gave me rejection as well as cautioned me against getting money back directly from the cheat because I would probably be accused for blackmail. Oh, My Gosh! But I didn’t give up. I reported it to the police. I expected that they would give me justice. However… I disappointed again. The police told me they would try their best to help me. But they also frankly told me it was hardly to get my money back or arrest her.

Heh! I really couldn’t believe it! She was just “in the front” of us; she was really a cheat; she did commit swindle to me… But why it seemed we could do nothing to her? Why it seemed it was she who was really protected by Canadian law? Why it happened in such an efficient law systematical country? Why…

It’s too unfair!

Thinking After Swimming

2006-01-08T14:03:00.000-08:00

It was first time I went to swim again since that incredible “story” happened. To my surprise, I didn’t feel uneasy at all when seeing swimming pool again. It seemed I’d already completely recovered. Hurray!

I enjoyed hot spring first, which could help me make a good preparation. Comparing with it, the warm swimming pool was so cold that I spent a period of time to adapt it. I was still with the hope of learning swimming, but I was so timid that I only had courage to move around the side at lower part. Sigh~~~~~ Seeing other swimmers swimming like a fish, I was full of envy. When can I do that? I wish I were a 7-year-old girl now so that I surely can learn swimming during a short time.

Now, I begin to regret not accepting my mom’s advice. When I was a child, she always told me “Learn as much as you can when you are young.” I didn’t care at that time, but now I gradually know how important it was. Predecessors usually have abundant knowledge and enough life experience. They hope their successors could avoid mistakes they had made. However, youth always repeat such errors until they themselves realize it is wrong. Is it the law of growing process?

To My Best Friend -- Blessing From the Other Side of the Ocean

2006-01-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

It’s a regular day to me -- the same light rainy day; the same homesick feelings; the same routine schedule. But, it’s really a special or memorable day to others. Some may be given birth; some may pass away; some may have a wonderful moment; some may experience a terrible period. I always imagine it would be so magic if I could record what were human being doing at the same sec.

What makes me think about it again is today is my best friend, Zhang Hang’s register for marriage. I believe it is the most sacred moment to all women during their whole life! Especial for Hang, the same age girl as me, I can hardly imagine what would turn up in her mind at that moment. I asked her the same question many times “What are you feeling now?” She answered calmly which was out of my expectation “Not so excited.” Oh, my dear friend, you must have been completely ready for the future with the other half of you.

Congratulations and best regards to you! Though I can’t attend your marriage ceremony, I send my blessing to you. No matter it is so long distance between you and me now, I believe you will feel my wishes at this moment!

CHEER

2006-01-01T11:50:00.000-08:00

Today is January 1st, 2006 – the first day of a new year! What I want to say first is “Happy new year!”

Actually, I’ve hesitated to continue my blog. Now, without Wendy’s correction, I have no confidence to post my article directly. What’s more, I’m not sure is there anyone else would pass by to see my blog except myself. In that case, I may feel lonely, and may have no motivation to carry on. Fortunately, I get some inspiration from Eddie, my ex-classmate in VCC. Though he’s back to Taiwan, he’s sticking to building his blog. I was moved by what he said “I thought I would stop. But it has become part of my life.” From now on, I believe I’ll continue confirmedly my blog even though there would be full of mistakes or no one would pay attention to it. Thanks to Eddie：—）

I remember clearly that in China, at the beginning of every new term, the teacher will demand a “new study plan of a new term”. I always felt compulsory to do it at that time. But now, I do it actively. And I really felt I got something powerful from it.

What’s my “new study plan of this new year” is to work hard on my next study program which is I'm really interested in as well as to keep my all good habits including carrying on this blog. Besides, the most important thing is to keep healthy! ～◎～

I Visit “Christina’s World”

2005-12-14T16:10:00.000-08:00

It’s been 10 years since Christina left her poor but warm family. Though she is exhausted on walking 100km way to turn back, she smiles with tears on seeing her real family.

Christina was born in a very poor family. When she was 3 years old, her parents was too hard to bring her up. They couldn’t give her basic food – little Christina would be die! Though it was a little cruel, out of love, they gave Christina to a wealthy family who weren’t able to have a baby.

Now little Christina is growing a beautiful young lady. She got the best food as well as good education in her wealthy family. She grew up care freely until her “mother” told her the truth. She cried. Then she searched the crystal memory in her mind. She saw a small house, a kind woman face, a pair of baby shoes… She decided to find all of these—her real family, her real parents, her real life…

It is so long a way. She met with so many difficulties that she almost lost her life. However, when she finally saw the vague and familiar house, she fell down with happy tears. She stopped, just stayed there, watching it from a distance, now her childhood memory comes back…

Fly on Your Way

2005-12-12T20:18:00.000-08:00

Though, in Vancouver, I’ve become used to the frequency of airplanes, I give a special emotion to the plane leaving this time—because it is taking Catherine, my first and best friend in Vancouver, to U.S..

Sometimes, it is so strange that you’ll trust and make friends with someone who we have met or talked only several times. It is common to know nothing about someone who we may have lived with a long time, while we can understand more about someone we may only have been acquainted with for a while.

Catherine is such a case for me. Even though we have known each other only for 3 months, we have helped and cared each other and have become best friends. I feel a little sad for her leaving, however, I know it is good for her development. So, I wish her a colorful future!

Do your best! My dear friend!

Snow in My Memory

2005-12-12T19:19:00.000-08:00

Getting backing from Eddie’s Icefield, I feel Snow in My Memory is such a lighter one. :(

Nevertheless, it was my first heavy snow in Vancouver—I must do something to memorize it.

Though it has been one week since I saw the snow, I still remember how excited I felt when I placed myself in that pure and white world.

I had seen snow in my hometown, but it was never enough to cover your whole feet. So, even though some snow has already naughtily run into my shoes, I still amusedly imbedded my feet into the snow to feel how deep it really was. That’s fantastic!

Even though it was freezingly cold, I couldn’t help but grab a handful of snow and enjoy it. When I sprinkled it in the air, I felt I become a carefree child in a fairy world! I believe, living in such an innocent fairyland, everyone will feel happy as well as become pure.

I may see some grander snow in the future, but the snow on Dec 2nd, 2005 in SFU would be the most unforgettable one!

More Than a Story

2005-12-05T12:16:00.000-08:00

It’s so hard to begin such an unbelievable real story that happened to me recently. Anger, regret, sadness, hurt, distrust, homesickness... now my head is being taken up with a complex feeling.

She is from the same country as me; she shows up as a respected Asian Swim Champion; she acts as a kind new classmate… Actually, shock to everyone, she is a Cheat.

Now, describing the process is not as meaningful as to give some useful advice I got from this terrible experience. But to make it easily understand, I’ll simply explain the whole thing.

I wanted to learn swimming for a long time. So it was “lucky” that I met a new classmate who called herself an ex-Asian Swim Champion. Then she became my tutor and charged me $450 for 30 lessons. Although it sounded a bit expensive to me, I still paid the money as she said “the more you put into, the more you get out of it”. The same afternoon, we began our first lesson. Before we got into the swimming pool, she asked me to take out all the money I had brought with me, and she would keep it for the moment. She said if I complied, she would feel I trust her so much because I gave all money as well as my life to her. Always, she emphasized “trust”. Oh, My Goodness! I really complied. I took out $79 USD and some RMB (the lucky money my mum gave me before I left China)--even all the change! When I was on my way home, I just felt a little strange, but I couldn’t tell what it was exactly. The next day (Friday), after my second lesson, she had a chat with me. She said I couldn’t finish studying within 30 lessons as I have no experience in swimming. She would like to teach me 2 hours per lesson--then I could master swimming within 30 lessons. During the chat, she requested $350 more from me as she thought $450 was unlucky number to us. That meant my total fee would be $800 and she asked me to give her that money immediately (still out of “trust”). Fortunately, I rejected to do this time. I had no plan to pay such a lot for learning to swim and I also felt that something wasn’t right. I just said I needed to consult with my boyfriend and would give her the answer the next day. But when we arrived on Saturday, she had disappeared. Because my boyfriend had already suspected her a defrauder after my description, we took a digital recorder that day. But it was too late. Sigh… The worst is I had almost no information about her, even her true name and address. Because of that, the police could do nothing for me except to caution me against such thing because they have received too many similar cases among international students.

Still a long story, eh? It’s made a really big impression on me as something like this never happened to me before. I’ve recovered a bit now as I’m beginning to consider it a learning experience, rather than getting enmeshed in anger or regret.

Please don’t laugh at me for being so silly or pity me. The reason why I wrote this is because I hope something like this will never happen to international students ever again. I hope this “$600” experience will give both you and me a priceless lesson in the future. Here is some advice:
1. The more you’re eager to achieve something, the more possible it is that you’ll get into a trouble. Keep rational as well as calm through fair and foul.
2. If you are a person full of fantasy like me, just keep level-headed in any unusual situation. Otherwise, you’ll follow the way the cheat wants you to go because out of your profuse fancy, you’ll believe what you want to.
3. Ask for proof every time, especially when it comes down to money. To most Chinese, it is the most crucial advice, as we usually consider it a lack of the milk of human kindness when we ask for proof from friends or acquaintances.
4. Most international students used to live in a relatively unsophisticated situation. We trust others easily, especially when they come from the same country or they are your classmates or friends. Though trust is a merit, don’t be too quick to believe in others especially when it comes down to your life or money.
5. If something terrible really happens to us international students, who usually live abroad alone, remember you have nice friends and kind teachers to help you. If something serious happens, you should report it to the police. We should try our best to not let anyone guilty get away with committing a crime.

These are the most important lessons I got from this experience. Besides, I want to say THANKS to the following people:
1. Wendy, my English teacher in VCC, who tried her best to do what she could do even on her weekends
2. Jamie, SO-YI, YUKI, Amanda, my ex-classmates as well as my friends here, who gave advice and help to me as soon as they heard the news.
3. Carol, Miroslava, my new classmates, who also gave me much advice and help even though we just became classmates.
4. Catherine Hu, my first new friend here, who gave me much legal advice because her boyfriend majors in law

Although there is some dark side in the world, there are more kind people, as mentioned above, around us. So we shall never give up the hope in our life!

Searay is coming (.^.)

2005-12-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

Hey, everyone! Here is your new friend, Searay :) I’m from China. This is the first time I’ve been so far away from my family. I do miss my parents, my dear friends, and delicious food in my hometown for sure. @!@ However, since I came to Vancouver in August, I’ve made many good new friends here. Studying and playing with them will help me get over my homesickness. Now I’m starting a new class in VCC. I hope I will make new friends and improve my English very well. (*.^.*)