I'm mazed

I am ashamed to say anything when I face my blog, which was updated 3 months ago. I'm thinking that if it was a real baby, it might grow up big enough during these 3 months.

Something big event really happend to me during these 3 months, and I really had some special feeling to express. However, I made my blog vacant again and again!

I always realize that life is facing many choices. But, it is really a hard time to make every choice, especially at such a crucial time during my life!

To tell you the truth, I'm beginning to doubt about my studing abroad, as well as my dream. I'm pigheaded. I always stick to something that has been recognized in my heaart. I used to be proud of my permanent dream. Comparing to those who just drift with the tide, I believe my goaled life is much more meaningful. However, such a faith is just being destroyed little by little. It's because of the truth of the life or just because of my laziness?

Is it a regular question to people at my age? Then, what will be the result? Obstinately stick to my way, bearing loneliness and misunderstanding? Or, return to an ordinary woman's life: being his wife, being his mother, being his grandmother...